Today I stood in front of a room of mothers on Mother’s Day morning, holding a clear plastic bucket and a handful of black rocks.
I’d been preparing for weeks. Editing. Re-editing. Praying. The kind of preparation that looks like productivity but is actually trying to make sure your own story doesn’t betray you in front of a microphone.
Because the talk wasn’t really about a Bible verse. It was about the question I had to ask myself in 2018, and the question I think every high-achieving woman eventually has to ask:
“If I knew who was actually speaking to me… who would that make me?”
That question is from John 4:10. And it changed everything for the woman at the well, not because Jesus exposed her story, but because He revealed His.
This is the version of that talk I want you to have. Whether you were in the room or you’re reading this from the kitchen counter at 9pm with the dishwasher running, this letter is for you. The free Bible study companion is at the bottom.
What the bucket actually carried I started the talk with a visual. A clear bucket on a table, big enough that the whole room could see what went in. One by one, I added the things we carry.
Two little dolls, because somewhere along the way you became somebody’s mama, and suddenly you were responsible for keeping tiny humans alive while pretending you knew what you were doing.
Then the envelopes. Bills, tuition, gas prices that need prayer and intercession.
Then the toy house. The one you finally bought, that started Googling words like “HVAC” at 2am.
Then the toy car. Because everybody needs rides and pickups and somebody to drive their life.
Then the phone. That little demon. Comparison. Notifications. Access to everybody’s highlight reel.
Then the makeup brush. Because we’re trying to heal AND survive AND parent AND contour all at once.
Then the money. Because nobody tells you that success can increase pressure if your identity isn’t healthy.
Then the relationships. Some healed us, some helped us, and some required prayer meetings.
And then the rocks. One at a time. Letting them land.
Fear. Disappointment. Anxiety. Panic. Heartbreak. Loneliness. Exhaustion.
The things we learned to carry quietly.
By the time I lifted the bucket off the table, the room had gone still. Because every woman in there was doing math in her head. Counting what was in her own bucket.
The line that broke me to write In 2018, on paper, I had everything.
I had left a long relationship. I’d bought my own home. Better neighborhood, better school district, two promotions in 18 months. From the outside, I looked like a case study in “she figured it out.”
What was actually happening: anxiety attacks. ER visits because I thought I was having a heart attack. A body that kept showing up to meetings while a soul that hadn’t been checked on in years was quietly running out of oxygen.
The line I wrote in my notes during that season was the one I almost couldn’t say out loud yesterday:
“I hadn’t lost my life. I had lost me inside of it.”
If that sentence just landed somewhere uncomfortable in you, please don’t scroll past it. That’s not a coincidence. That’s the Holy Spirit doing what He does best, making you stop.
Why John 4 matters more than you think If you’ve never read John 4, here’s the moment that matters. A woman comes to a well in the middle of the day, when no one else would be there, to draw water. She’s been married five times and is currently with a man who isn’t her husband. She’s the woman the town whispers about.
And Jesus is sitting at the well.
He doesn’t lecture her. He doesn’t fix her. He doesn’t even start with her sin.
He starts with thirst.
“If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.” (John 4:10)
Notice what He’s doing. He’s not condemning her thirst. He’s pointing out that she’s been drinking from the wrong wells.
The approval well. The achievement well. The relationship well. The be everything to everybody well. The wells we keep returning to because they give us a sip but never a Source.
Three things she discovered about Him (that changed who she was) The whole conversation is about identity. But notice. Her identity didn’t transform until His identity was revealed. Three times in that exchange, Jesus shows her who He actually is:
- He is the Source. “Whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.” (John 4:14) The wells we run to keep us thirsty. He doesn’t.
- He is the One Who Sees Fully. “You have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband.” (John 4:18) He doesn’t expose her to shame her. He names her story so she knows. He already knew. And stayed anyway. That’s the gospel in one verse.
- He is the Messiah. “I who speak to you am He.” (John 4:26) This is the moment her identity flips. Not when He named her sin. When He named Himself.
When you misidentify Jesus, you misidentify yourself. When you finally see Him clearly as Source, Seer, Savior, you stop holding onto things that were never meant to define you.
The detail most people skip After this whole encounter, here’s what verse 28 says:
“So the woman left her water jar and went away into town.” (John 4:28)
Read that again.
She came to the well carrying a jar. She was there for the jar. The jar was the whole reason for the trip.
She left without it.
Not because Jesus took it. Because she didn’t need it anymore.
That’s the whole invitation of this Mother’s Day letter. What jar are you ready to set down? What identity, role, performance, or label have you been carrying that was never yours to hold in the first place?
The doing-it-all jar. The keeping-it-together jar. The everybody-else-comes-first jar. The proving-myself jar. The not-letting-anyone-see-me-cry jar.
You can put it down. Not because the people in your life don’t need you anymore. But because He is enough of a Source that you don’t have to be.
What this means for you right now If you’re a mother who’s running on fumes: Your kids do not need you to be everything. They need you to be someone. A woman who knows where her water actually comes from. The most powerful gift you can give them this Mother’s Day is to stop drinking from wells that leave you empty.
If you’re a high-achiever building something big: Success will increase pressure if your identity isn’t healthy. Ask me how I know. The work doesn’t break us. The unexamined identity underneath the work does.
If you’re in a season where you can’t even name what’s heavy: You don’t have to. The bucket already knows. The Holy Spirit already knows. Your job today isn’t to figure it out. Your job is to set it down for ten quiet minutes and let Him show you who you are because of who He is.
💧 Your Mother’s Day gift from me I built a free 10-minute Bible study to walk you through this. Six short reflections, one identity question per verse, a closing declaration, and a prayer.
No opt-in maze. No funnel. Just you, John 4, and the question that changes everything.
Take it on your lunch break. Take it tonight after the kids are down. Send it to a friend who you know is carrying too much.
And if anything in here landed, if even one rock got named, would you reply and tell me which one? I read every response. This was the most personal talk I’ve ever given, and I’d love to know what God is doing in your room.
Happy Mother’s Day, beautiful.
The bucket is set down. The jar is left at the well.
You are seen. You are called. You are restored.
Love, Kyra
Sources:
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, John 4:1–42 The Mother’s Day talk delivered by Kyra Collins, May 10, 2026 When You See Him Clearly, You See You Clearly Bible Study, Just Bloom AI, 2026
Follow on IG: @justbloomwithKyra
